Elle and {The Professor}

So I'm talking to my friend this weekend - we'll call him {The Professor}. He's one of my older and wiser friends. I tell him I signed up for online dating - and it turns out he did too.

On Friday I met up with another friend, we'll call her {The Towel Bar}, and she asked me why on earth I was paying for online dating when I could try www.okCupid.com. It got me thinking. So I decide to give it a whirl.


Back to {The Professor}. He's been living in Pawnee, IN for the past two years. Population seven. So he gave oKCupid a try to see if he could meet one of the two hotties living in his town.

Side note: I find out his user name on the cupid and give him mine. We are 80% compatible. 56% friend. 10% enemy. Wait. What? Next time we are in the same state, we'll most likely hook up, just to ruin our friendship! We are so compatible! Who knew! I kid. I kid.

So anyways, I ask him how online dating is treating him and tell him about the freaks and keepers I've met so far. And then he tells me this story.

He met this one girl online. She looks cute. Seems nice. He decides to meet up with her. She shows up. And she's the size of a house. He thinks to himself. WTF? There's nothing wrong with being a little porky - he lives in the Midwest after all. But that's just false advertising. Right?

Did I mention {The Professor's} body type is skinny? Like a stick. And since I've known him, there has {ALWAYS} been a large girl going after his heart {trying to fatten him up I assume}.

So he gets to thinking about his luck with the ladies. He's thinking to himself, why do all the heavies try to snatch me up? And he comes to this conclusion. He says to me, "Elle, this one time I was at church camp and a heavy girl and I got sinful. This must be why God is punishing me."

I fell off my bed I was laughing so hard. One other thing you should know about {The Professor} is that there ain't no God in his world. So the fact that he came to this conclusion is huge {like a house}.

To be clear, he's not against a heavy. Heck, he'd even love one, if there was a spark. But so far. No spark.
It took some convincing from him, that I wasn't one of those gals that showed up looking like a house compared to my photos. I don't want to be one of those false advertisers!

We found each other on OkCupid and dissected each others profiles. We rated each other five stars and gave each other {an award}. We discovered we live 2007 miles apart. I sent him a message asking if he wanted to hook up. {He hasn't answered yet. Rude!} And I continued laughing hysterically over his story.  

mmm. Maybe he should give her a chance?

The moral of this story? Online dating is hilarious.

Oh and don't get sinful at church camp, unless it's with a hottie.

Lastly, post a realistic, current photo of you. You don't want to be the subject of a story like this!!

PS {The Professor} is still single and quite the catch I might add, if you're looking!

Happy Virtual Dating!
xoxo,
Elle