Alright. I took a break from this blog. I admit it. Dating. Is. Exhausting. Seriously. I already have a full time job...then I have to come home and basically source resumes {profiles} to weed out all the losers. What? It's true. And let me tell you, there is an {ABUNDANCE} of losers on eHarmony. Like big time.
Look, I haven't lied to you. I'm the most judgmental person I know. But I {HAVE} been trying to go easier on these guys. Is it my fault that they are schmucks?
The {Cock} Guy
This guys profile picture is of him standing in front of a sign that I can only assume says Cocktails. He blocked out the 'tails' part and is essentially standing under a sign that says {Cock}. Um. Douche-bag.
The {Dumb} Guy:
He couldn't spell {Halloween}. SPELL CHECK. We've already discussed this in an earlier post.
The {Sexually Knowledgeable} Guy:
Buy a hooker.
The {Confused} Guy:
On his profile he says he wants kids. In his "Must Have, Can't Stands" he must have someone who supports his decision not to have kids. WHAT?
The {Teeth Matches Yellow Tie} Guy:
Ugh. Use a different photo?
The {Non-Smiling} Guy:
I understand it might not be "cool" to smile, but seriously, you look angry and pissed off. I'm terrified of you.
The {Hiker} Guy{s} - every other match:
UGH. Maybe it's because I live in the Pacific Northwest...but GROSS. You, in your fleece vest, hiking boots and khaki shorts - TURN. OFF. No offense.
Do I sound defeated? I am. But there is always tomorrow!
xoxo,
Elle
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