Elle and {Loss}

I hope to post more about {Baby Girl} in the coming weeks but right now it hurts to much to write about her and the events that lead up to her final day with us. However, I want to share what I am feeling and get my thoughts down. And hopefully find some coping strategies for the coming months as I grieve the loss of my {Baby Girl}.

I lost my sweet {Baby Girl} very suddenly two weeks ago. And when I say I, I mean we {Me}, {The BF} and {The X}. {Baby Girl} was my puppy, my love, my best friend and a member of my family. I loved her so much and so unconditionally that I can't begin to understand what my life will be like not having her to love and care for any more.

I am lost.

I think that one of the things that is most difficult to explain, especially to those who do not own pets, is how much it really does hurt to love someone{thing} so much and then to suddenly {very suddenly} lose that member of your family.

Your routine changes.

You are not needed like you used to be needed.

Your bed feels empty.

There is an empty space where her ken ken {kennel} used to be.

You are careful when sitting down on the couch or the bed, so as not to squish her. Then you remember, she isn't there.

Your life changes. In a blink.

{Baby Girl} was with me in a time that I needed her most. I hate that I had to say good-bye so early. So soon. {Baby Girl} helped me learn responsibility. She taught me what is was to care for something, what is was to have something completely depended on me for survival. {Baby Girl} counted on me.

{Baby Girl} got me through a tough time in my life. She was there for me when me and {The X} broke up. She gave me reason to live in my darkest days. She gave me love when I was lost. She sat with me while I cried. She showed me that I was not alone.

{Baby Girl} was with me when I rediscovered myself. She enjoyed taking long walks with me. She liked sitting on my stomach while I was doing sit ups. She liked breathing in my face, licking it and getting in my way while I was trying to exercise on the floor of my studio apartment.

{Baby Girl} kept me and {The X} connected. Our mutual love for her, helped us to rediscover and reaffirm our friendship with each other.

{Baby Girl} was there for me to talk to when I got home from work. And she was there when I started dating again. She was a great excuse to go home to if the date wasn't going well ;-). And she was okay with me using her in that way {more cuddle time for her after all}. She liked hearing about my dates {at least I like to think she did}. She was a great judge of character when I started seeing {The Bus Rider} who then became {The BF}. She fell for him immediately which helped me know it was okay for me to fall for him too.

She had the softest ears. She loved guarding from the window. She hated getting her nails trimmed. She {always} pulled on her leash. She loved running at my parents farm. And testing out her bark against {big} dogs and {ugly} dogs, especially when she knew that her humans were near by to protect her. She was a stubborn {little} brat, that refused to be {potty} trained. She peed and pooped...almost immediately...in every new house or building that she entered. She had a hilarious way of always needing to poop in the middle of a crosswalk...when the light was about to change. Her ears bounced {up and down} when she walked. She smelled like a bag of {stale?} fritos. She loved sleeping in her human's nooks - between our legs or arms. She loved the smell of {arm} pits. She loved to burrow. She loved laying in the sun...indoors. She hated her ken ken. Her breath smelled {really} bad. She hated wearing her 'bra' {harness} but loved wearing her jack jack in the winter. Winter, for {Baby Girl}, lasted 12 months a year. She peed on your bed if you ignored her for {too} long. She had {legs} that went on for seconds and a {body} that went on for days. She was a {fat} girl trapped in a {thin} girls body. She had {loose} skin. She loved treats. Sometimes I would eat crackers and purposefully drop crumbs on her head because it made me laugh and she looked cute. She was a self-feeder that was not overweight {unheard of in the dachshund world}. She made the most adorable {squeaking/squealing} noises when she {really really} missed you and was {finally} reunited with you {whether it be that she was separated from you for days or minutes}. She did {not} like standing on cold cement. She destroyed every. single. toy. she. ever. owned. She was a {lap} dog, who sometimes would choose to sit really far away from you...which would make you wonder what was wrong with {you}...She loved sitting up high {on top of couches, windows}. She loved sitting on her {hind} legs. She hated being left out of anything...especially {dinner} time. She did {not} like bubbles. She hated her own bath time {and ours}. She was very photogenic and may be the most photographed puppy who will ever live. She was scared of {cats}, but she loved {to eat} cat poop. True. Story. She loved to lick our legs when we got out of the shower. She loved to dump her water bowl out to get our attention. She made me laugh so hard I would {cry} and cry so hard I would {laugh}. She loved... to be loved.

And she loved her humans. My gawd. Did she love her humans.

She will be in my heart forever. 

Goodbye sweet baby girl. Rest in peace.

{Baby Girl's First Photo}

Goodbye {Baby Girl}

Mama pulls your ears because she loves you.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and Accidentally Moving In

Awww. Relationships are so fun. Especially new{ish} relationships! I love spending time with {The Boyfriend}. Watching tv, running, reading, cooking for two, counting sheep - these are all things I enjoy doing by myself, but doing them with {The Boyfriend}...so much better.

But how do we balance where and when we spend our time together?

I learned a lot in my last relationship with {The X}. You all know how {that} story ends, so it shouldn't be a surprise when I say that we had some pretty unhealthy habits between the two of us. We got to a point in our relationship where we weren't really doing anything without each other, so much so that I forgot how to do things on my own. I forgot how to be my own person.

In the story of {Elle} - there is such thing as too much together time.

I think that part of the reason why me and {The X} became an {US} that couldn't function without the other half is because we moved in together very quickly in our relationship without looking into the future and talking about what taking that step might mean.

I vowed to not make that mistake again in any future relationships. I took the greater part of a year and a half to discover who I was again. I experienced a lot of growth and challenges in that time but it was definitely worth it.

I'm thrilled to report that things still are going well with {The Boyfriend}. I do enjoy spending time with him - but we also do our own things too. However...you knew there would be a however right? I can't seem to find a healthy balance between spending time at his house and mine. We spend most of our time at his place - and there are so many reasons why. I'll even list a few. 1. When we have {The Pup}, it's so much easier for her to run outside and use the bathroom. 2. He has a two bedroom, two bath town home, while I am rocking a less than 400 square foot apartment. 3. I have one chair. He has two couches. 4. We can walk to the grocery store - a real grocery store - from his place. From my place it takes a bus ride. 5. He has a fire place. I have a candle that I shouldn't light because I'm sure it's against code. 6. He can fast forward commercials, at my house you have to watch them. - I could go on...and on, but I won't.

Lastly - as a lady - I hate carting my shit between two houses during any given week. If we start the week at his house - I ain't moving. Why? Because. Friends, I have never {NEVER} been a light packer. If I need one pair of underwear, I pack four. If I think I'm going to wear these jeans tomorrow, I bring them and one additional pair. If I wear the first pair of jeans, then I need these flats, but if I wear the other ones, then I need boots. If I wear the flats, I need a more casual top, but with the boots, then I think I'll be a little more dressy. I can wear my peacoat to work, but need my casual jacket for after. What earrings? What necklace? Plus what if it's raining?

My makeup and hair 'stuff' take up a whole other bag.

And don't even get me started if {The Pup} is with me, then I have her bag o'goodies as well.

Just packing for a quick overnight to {The Boyfriend's} House

My point is this. I enjoy spending time with {The Boyfriend}. We are an {us}. But I am also a {me} - a {me} who pays her own rent and has her own place. We don't live together and I don't want to find myself accidentally moving in before we talk about what that means to both of us and our relationship.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {November} Rain

The other night {The Boyfriend} and I are sitting down for a nice chat. I’m not good with {awkward} silence, so sometimes I like to quiz him. Secretly I am preparing for my Bachelorette party when I am sure to be asked questions about him and our relationship in some sort of raunchy hen night game. He doesn’t need to know that though. Bahahaha. {PS Chill out, I’m totes kidding.}

Anyway – I ask him what his favorite song is. He hems and haws for a few minutes and comes up with November Rain – and then queues it up on his iTunes.

Do any of you relate songs to specific moments in your life? I do.

Why oh why I thought it would be a good idea to listen to music on the day that me and {The X} broke up is beyond me, but I will tell you that it did ruin a handful of songs for me…forever.

Have you ever been through a break up? In the month of November? And listened to some tunes – to get you through a tough time? No. Seriously. I swear to Gawd. This song. Came on. That day. And regardless of what the song is about – it SOUNDS sad. Am I right?

Holy shit did that bring me back to a different time in my life. I feel bad. {The Boyfriend} is sitting there all happy to be sharing his favorite song to me and I’m holding back tears? I didn’t quite expect to react that way. To have to physically remove myself from the room to let it finish playing. It’s been a long time since that day my friends! But still. I relate music to specific events/times in my life. And if you do too, then you know just what I mean. Something can hit you when you least expect it. And music was a big part of me and {The X's}life - so any song that came out between 2005-2010 will prolly trigger some sort of physical reaction from me.

As you all know, I’ve moved on. It’s not that I’m holding on to the past and me and {The X} are friends! But the song triggered the feelings of devastation, failure, uncertainty, sadness – and relief. The roller coaster of emotions that I felt for several months following that milestone moment in my life.

Everybody needs some time, on their own.

The lyrics that stand out to me are “Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain.” Those feelings {devastation, failure, uncertainty, sadness} didn’t last forever – thank Gawd. I learned that while I may have been feeling those feelings at the time, my relationship with {The X} didn't fail. We were just meant to be friends. It hurt at the time, but really it was a second chance, a new beginning - for both of us!

So, moving forward when this song starts bumping at {The Boyfriend’s} house – and you know it’s going to because it’s his favorite! -, I’m going to spin it in a positive light. Power of positive thinking my friends!

xoxo,

Elle

Elle and a {Hiatus)

Dear Friends,

I have no excuse. Please forgive me for my blogging hiatus. The good news? I've got a lot to catch you up on. Lots. And lots.

Stick with me. I promise I won't leave you hanging so long this time around.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and Doing {Dishes} at {The Boyfriend's} House

{The Boyfriend} and I have been dating for a little over a month and a half now. He hasn't really discovered my crazy side yet {there's plenty of time for that} and I haven't discovered his. I'd like to keep him from discovering my {crazy} side until he's really locked in for the long haul. Keeping the {crazy} hidden is easy when you're never in the same city as each other...

Anyway, we've both been out of town so much that when we are actually both in the city of Seattle, we spend our time together. Doing fun things - like {not} cleaning our houses. Because of this, the dishes started piling up a little at {The Boyfriends} house {and mine}. I'm no stranger to getting behind on housework, so I'm not bothered by this too much.

On the first {and last} sunny Seattle day we decided to BBQ and make a yummy grilled chicken Caesar salad. Because my honey did all the hard work on the grill, I thought it would be nice of me to do the dishes. {All} of the dishes.

So after dinner I get right to work in the kitchen. I'm pretty familiar with things in a kitchen. Like plates. Silverware. Cups. The usual. I feel confident in my ability to load a dishwasher. I do a little pre-washing action and then load the dishes in the dishwasher where it make sense. I know plates usually go on the bottom and cups usually go on the top. You know. That kind of stuff. I've always been pretty good at Tetris. I may not be perfect, but I get the job done.

Piece of cake!

So, I'm working away in the kitchen. Not my favorite thing to do in the world, but I'll do it for {The Boyfriend}. You know, show him I appreciate him cooking and all that.

He comes into the kitchen.  And this is what I'm imagining happening in my head. --->The two of us. Throwing soap bubbles at each other and giggling. Making out. Snapping towels. You know. All happy and sappy and flirty and stuff.

Doing the dishes is so much fun!

Instead he tells me I loaded the dishwasher wrong.

Wait. What?

He says that 'these' plates go here and 'those' plates go there. The romantic comedy soundtrack playing in my head comes to a screeching halt. So he's saying that even those 'these' plates fit here, and 'those' plates fit there, they actually should be switched around? No 'hey Elle, thank you for doing the dishes!!? Kiss kiss.' No tossing soap bubbles? No giggling? No making out on the kitchen counter?

Lame. Sauce.

This boy...

It reminds me of when my dad told me {10} years ago that I was cutting tomatoes the wrong way whilst I was making dinner for my family. I didn't realize there was a right way...And yes. I still remember that. And no, I'll never forget it.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {Baby Girl}

Back in 2008, {The X} and I adopted the sweetest little puppy in the entire world. We'll call her {The Baby Girl}. You know how unhappily married couples sometimes try to fix their marriage by having a child? Just sayin.

As you all know {The X} and I broke up {that was so much fun}. {But} I know we both are thankful that we got {The Baby Girl} out of our relationship. Spoken like true parents who love their child - despite not being in love with each other any more. What can I say?

{The X} and I both love {The Baby Girl} so much that neither of us could stand to part with her full time. We worked out a little shared custody deal that allowed us both to continue to be a part of her life and went along our merry way.

{The Baby Girl} is Ah-dorable. She has a fantastic personality and really is the sweetest thing. But she is also judgmental. And doesn't like socializing in large groups. And she generally hates most people.

Because of this, I've never introduced {The Baby Girl} to any new 'dudes.' I realized both she and I didn't need that emotional distress, unless the 'dude' was going to be around for the long run.

After dating and then locking down {The Boyfriend}, I decided it was time for the {The Baby Girl} and him to meet. One of the first things I said to {The Boyfriend} on our very first date was that if my dog doesn't like you, then I don't like you. {Seriously, you can ask him.} I can't really have the two of them at odds. That just wouldn't work - know what I mean?

Puppies are a girls best friend.

I decided the introduction should happen on {The Baby Girls} turf. That way she was comfortable and had one less thing to think about.

{The Boyfriend} came over {looking all cute by the way} after work. I had given {The Baby Girl} a pep talk about the importance of giving people fair chances and being non-judgmental. She just glared at me and ate her dinner. When he walked in the door, she did her little barking thing {she hates when people knock}, gave him a good sniff test...and fell in love.

WTF?

I thought she would at least play hard to get. But she always has been a sucker for a man with facial hair.

To add insult to injury when we climbed into bed later that evening, she chose to curl up in his nook not mine. And then he chose to spoon her, not me. It's like they didn't even know I was there.

Is there room for a third in there?

At least it went well, right? Hopefully they let me hang out with the two of them in the future...

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {The Boyfriends} First Birthday

So {The Boyfriend} and I had our first date at the beginning of April. I decided I didn't want to share his goodies with other girls towards the end of April. Next big date? My birthday...

What's more awkward then introducing your new BF to your friends? Introducing you new BF to your friends on your birthday week{end}. {The Boyfriend} and I are still just getting to know each other. He doesn't know yet that my birthday is a national week long holiday. I don't know how to tell him without sounding like a psycho crazy birthday celebrating bitch. How is he going to succeed if I'm not setting him up for success? How is this relationship going to succeed if he doesn't recognize the importance of my {birth}day/week?

I dropped some {subtle} hints that he should take charge of plans for my actual birthday. My instructions were simple - I just wanted to spend time with him.

Take charge, he did.

{The Boyfriend} planned a romantic evening for two at Teatro Zinzani. Complete with preferred seating, wine pairing, a kick ass show and even a slow dance for the birthday girl {me}.  We dressed all fancy and he even got into the spirit of things and sported bowler hat for the evening. A-dor-a-ble.

I gotta admit, it was one of my favorite birthdays of all time. I'm not sure how he's planning on topping it next year, but don't worry, I do have a couple of ideas.

Tropical Getaway?

And if that's expecting too much:

You can't go wrong with a gift
that comes in a little blue box.
Am I right?

What? My birthday a national holiday. And should be celebrated accordingly.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {Friends}

There comes a time in every relationship when the {new} boyfriend meets your friends. Why? Why oh why does this make me so nervous? I'm more nervous about {The Boyfriend} meeting my friends than my family.

I've met a handful of {The Boyfriends} friends already and knew it was time for him to meet mine. With my Birthday Week {yes, I said Birthday Week} right around the corner, I thought it would be the perfect time for introductions. Get 'em all done at one time.

Long ago, I decided that 28 was going to be 'my' year. Why? I love even numbers. 8 is my favorite number. 2 is my second favorite number. And I don't want 82 to be 'my' year. That's just too long to wait.

I decided I needed to start my 28th year off with a bang, so I reserved the top floor at Belltown Pub in Seattle. Shuffleboard, pool, foosball, friends, food, presents and good company. What more could a {girl} ask for?

After announcing to my friends that {The Boyfriend} was going to make an appearance at my party, it should come as no surprise to anyone when I tell you that this birthday was my most well attended birthday since my 21 run. {THAT was a good birthday...odd number and all.} Thanks friends...

It's really important to me that {The Boyfriend} like my friends and vice versa. My friends really liked {The X} a lot and he liked them back. We share a long history of making stupid decisions and sharing a lot laughs together. As much as they liked each other, we spent most of our time with {The X's} friends. Which made me miss my friends. And I'm not doing that this time around. My hope is that they'll like {The Boyfriend} just as much as they liked {The X}...{If not more}. And that he will like them back too.

{The Boyfriend} arrived fashionably late. Not because he's hip...but because he was celebrating his father's 70th birthday. The problem with him being late was that I only got more nervous {I didn't know when he was going to show} and it allowed me plenty of time to get my drink on.

I don't date hip dudes.

I don't always make smart decisions when I'm drinking. I'm human after all. And while my memory is hazy of the evenings events, it seems as though the introduction went off without a hitch. Hooray!

Shit. That means next up is meeting the parents. Maybe I am more nervous about that then I thought...

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {his} Ex

I returned to Seattle after spending the week with my family in Bellingham. {The Boyfriend} and I spent the day in the sunshine at Golden Gardens.

Aren't our feet cute?

He packed the cutest little picnic of oranges, goldfish and sandwiches. He doesn't know that I don't like sandwich meat. I ate the sandwich. Meat and all. Now he thinks I like sandwich meat. {Shit.} This could mean a lifetime of gagging silently while eating sandwiches. Somehow, some way, I'll have to steer him away from making meat sandwiches in the future. This doesn't look promising for me. {Side Note: The sandwich was bearable. Maybe I need to give sandwich meat another try?}

The next day was his neighbor’s birthday party. They were celebrating with cupcakes and wine. Did I want to go? Hell yeah. I love me some cupcakes. Oh. And I like {The Boyfriend} and wine too.

So we head on over to the neighbor’s house. And I'm reminded how much I hate love meeting new people. Luckily his neighbors seem like a great group of people. And I like that he is friends with them. It's like a cute little {secret} community.

{The Boyfriend} made sure to introduce me to people. And more importantly he made sure my wine glass was always full {he's so sweet}. Then {this} girl stomps in. Other than the fact that she had way too much mousse in her hair {it's not 1990 anymore my friends}, I thought nothing of her. And since {The Boyfriend} had a blank look on his face, I figured he didn't know her. So I continued on my merry way, socializing up a storm. {And by socializing, I mean clinging to {The Boyfriends} side. Love, love meeting new people.}

Do people still use this?

A few minutes later {The Boyfriend} pulls me aside and says, 'oh, hey. that's my x. you know. the one that lived with me for the greater part of her adult life. that's why i didn't introduce you to her.' Say what?! I slap him.

No, no. Don't worry, I only mentally slapped him.

Seriously. Gentlemen. Take note. They're called "details." And they're important. If you're taking me to a party where your {x} might show up. It might be a good idea to give me a heads up. Why you ask? It just is. And really, that's all you need to know.

Write that down. That was your {free} lesson for today.

What did I learn you ask? If {The Boyfriend} has a blank look on his face, he's actually thinking 'oh, shit.'

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and a {New} Name

{The Bus Rider} and I 'defined our relationship.' Whether he wanted to or not. {I win}. So I've decided to give him a new name!

Everybody, meet...{The Boyfriend}! Yay. Here are some fun facts about him. 

1. He smells real nice.
2. He makes delicious guacamole.
3. He does not like soda very much.
4. He does like beer and 'good' tequila.
5. Sometimes he interrupts me when I am talking. And he says or asks something completely off topic.
6. I like his body {and his brain}.
7. Sometimes he has to wear a pager.
8. He does not have a peg leg.
9. He likes to water ski.
10. He does not like to lose.
11. He is {very} handsome.

You wish he was your boyfriend too. But he's not. He's mine. So there.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {Defining the Relationship}

Things are going well with {The Bus Rider}. So well in fact, that I decide I don't want him seeing anyone else. Which means that I can't see anyone else. Holy shit. I wasn't expecting that to happen so fast.

I wouldn't feel the need to talk about it with him, but I don't want him skanking all over town giving away the good stuff to just anyone. I want it all to myself. I keep checking OkCupid so I can see the last time that he logged in. It's not every day, but it's enough where it's keeping me guessing. I'm hoping that he's just logging in to see if I have been logging in. What a mess. 

I can't seem to get a read on this guy. And my job is reading people all day. So that's awesome.

Anyway, I feel like I need to say something. After I returned from Portland, he left for 'Bama. And the day he returned from 'Bama, I was leaving for Bellingham. Seriously. Can we somehow manage to be in the same city for more then a few days at a time? Guess not.

I decided that something needed to be said. And I've found that guys are {pansies} when it comes to 'talks' like this. So I knew if something was going to be said, it was going to have to be said by me. And I didn't want him going on dates with some other OkCupid floozies while I was out of town, so I knew it had to be said tonight. {Ugh.}

Have I mentioned that I'm awkward? I bet y'all can tell that this is going to go well...

I decide I just need to get it over with. The second I see him. {After I hear about his trip of course.}

So we go to dinner. I chicken out.

We go on a walk. I chicken out.

We go back to his place. We watch some TV. And when I say we, I mean he watches TV...all I'm thinking about is how do I start this conversation? Isn't this what scares dudes away?

I chicken out...again. {Chicks are cute though, right?}

In my defense, I've been out of the game for six years. Yes. Six. Sure I went on some dates. I met some {weird} guys. But not one {weirdo} that I was interested in seeing...exclusively.

And what the fuck do you call it these days? There's dating and dating {I see dating and dating as two separate things. Am I right?}. There's hooking up, hanging out, seeing each other, seeing each other exclusively, boyfriend, man-friend, in a relationship, in an exclusive relationship, friends {my mom introduces all my siblings and my significant others as friends - 'This is Elle's friend, {The Ex}'...thanks Mom}. There's friends with benefits, seeing where it goes, kicking it. The list goes on. And on. And on.

In the end, I decide I want to see him. Exclusively. {In other words, you're my boyfriend. But I won't use that word so as not to scare you away. Sucker!}. I hope he's on board with it. And unfortunately there is only one way for me to find out. Time to man-up!

The TV show comes to an end. And I realize it's now or never {and by never I mean next week. But I want to lock this down.} And I'm {not} having this conversation in the bedroom. I want him to pay attention to what I'm saying. Know what I mean?

Sooooo. I tell him I have something I want to talk to him about. He looks terrified. Shit. This isn't going the way I planned. {Good work, Elle!}. I slip him this piece of paper.

Please don't check no.

Okay, I wish I had slipped him that note. That would have been rad.

I can only imagine how awkward I was. It makes me cringe to think about it. Like watching Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars. Seriously. No. Seriously. 

Train Wreck.

What do I say to him you ask? I ask him if he is seeing anyone else. He turns the question back on me. And I answer???? {WTF - Is he some sort of word ninja? If I'm the one doing the asking, then shouldn't he have to be the one who answers first?!}

Anyway, the {Word Ninja} finally responds after I lay my heart on the line. Hooray! He's not seeing anyone else! It turns out he was logging into his OkCupid account to see if I was logging in. Oh the joys of online dating! {Meant. To. Be. Right?!} So now when someone asks me about my dating life...I can say I'm seeing someone...exclusively. Right?

Wait, does this mean I need a new tag line on my blog? Well, shit.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {Facts}

Couple of things:

1. My eHarmony subscription ends today. What a ride. Fact: After {The Dreaded Friend Match}, I'm definitely going to let it lapse.

2. My OkCupid account is still active. I'm still talking to a few guys, but I think my interest lies elsewhere. Is it too soon to be thinking that? Fact: I'm new to this game.

3. {The Engineer} is still texting me. I haven't responded in a few weeks. When I stopped responding we'd been communicating for over a month and he still hasn't asked me on a date? Fact: I'm not looking for a pen pal buddy. 

But I'm not paying eHarmony to find me one...

4. In the same week {but different days}, {The Bus Rider} headed to California for a work thing and I headed to Portland with my girlies. I had a great time with the girls, {I always do}, but my heart went pitter-patter at the thought of spending time with him again. Fact: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

5. I forgot how much effort it takes to pack a shack pack. Fact: Shacking up in college was easier when you could do the walk of shame instead of the bus ride of shame.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {Wine}

After I passed {The Bus Rider's} 'normally off-limit questions test' on our second date, he invited me to attend a wine party that his high school buddy was hosting on Saturday night.

As Saturday approached, I started freaking out a little. Last time I saw this guy, I was a little tipsy. And my mouth was all over his. Like all over. {Oh God, were they sloppy kisses?} I've always had a boyfriend. I've never been 'dating' someone, much less multiple people at once. If I'm kissing {The Bus Rider}, am I allowed to be kissing other guys? Talking to other guys? Seriously? How does this work?

Welp, I figure I'll find out.

He swings by right on time and opens the car door for me {Swoon. Seriously gentlemen, take note. Open a door for us, we're clay in your hands.}

I've never been one who particularly enjoys meeting new people, but needless to say the evening was fun.

When the party ended we headed across the street to Gasworks Park to lay under the stars {and suck face for a while. What? It's true.}

Want to?

As we headed back to the car he asked if I wanted him to drop me off at my place or head over to his. And I'm sorry, but you'll never know how I replied. ;-)

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {Drunk Texting}

Alright. By the time Friday rolled around, I was exhausted. After getting a mere minutes of sleep on Wednesday night, Thursday was a wash and by the time Friday arrived, I was ready for the weekend.

I started throwin back brewskies at 3 at the monthly party at my place of business. By 4 I was ready for happy hour. I grabbed some of the girls from work and we headed across the street to Blush {I don't recommend...} for a liquid dinner.

Awwwhhh. {Liquid Courage}. Such a beautiful thing. After tossing back some more of the good stuff and some encouragement from my happy hour buddies, I send {The Bus Rider} a text message. 

Without liquid courage, I'm not sure I'd have any courage at all...

He ends up meeting up with us and soon after my friends take off {rude, but at the same time, I'm kinda glad they did.} The evening ends up somewhat similarly to our last night. Only this time we ride the bus home...together? You'll never know.

 This counts as our third date, right?

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {PDA}

I left off with telling y'all about my hot date at the zoo with {The Dutch Guy}. We had a great time, but come Monday I found out he had some x-girlfriend drama that I just didn't want to get involved in. Ugh. The older we get the more baggage we have. Rad.

After the completely awkward end of my date with {The Bus Rider}, I was surprised but excited when he asked if we could meet for happy hour later this week. This guy doesn't mess around. I have to admit I'm intrigued because he appears to be looking past my complete awkward and uncomfortableness. How is this possible? I distract myself with my awkwardness...how is {HE} looking past it?

This is what the end of our first date looked like.
Seriously...

I digress. He offered to meet me in my neighborhood this time {cute}. I figured I'd take him to the spot where I've dragged many of my other dates - Spur.

Wednesday roles around and I happen to have a pretty crappy-ass day at work. I'm running late. It's raining. By the time I get to my house to quickly freshen up, he's already at the bar and probably annoyed with me that I'm running late. Which makes me sweat. Which is attractive. So that's awesome.

Spur is pretty packed for a Wednesday but we snag a table. I had eaten a late lunch, and decided I'd get right to the hard stuff...if you consider red wine hard...he ordered gnocchi {and pronounced the "G"{cute}} and some sort of fancy man drink {a Manhattan?}. He gobbled down his meal like he hadn't eaten in days. {Bless his heart}.

We settled in and the conversation came easy. He lead the conversation, which I appreciate. I hate having to feel like I am working so hard. He dives right into some topics "you typically avoid on the first few dates." Religion & Politics. This made me giggle on the inside. We seem to be on the same page. However, I try to push the conversation elsewhere. I don't really know him, and I'm not sure if these are topics that he'll get all worked up about. I don't want tears or yelling on our second date...Right?

The next thing I know a few hours have passed. I look down and realize he's holding my hand. After being in a relationship for five years with {The X} - where we rarely touched in public - this feels different. But it feels okay. I realize I am a little tipsy. And by a little I mean a lot. He's sitting across the table from me and says he feels far away. He asks if he can come sit next to me, and I laugh on the inside. I know, I just know, that he is thinking of me sitting 3 miles away from him in his living room on our first date.

He moves to my side of the table where I decide I should come clean about the bus ride. I think I kinda freaked him out by alluding to the fact that I knew him a little better then he knew me. After I finally told the whole story, he seemed a little relieved and found it funny. I thought to my {tipsy} self, well Elle, this is a good sign.

I can tell he's about to kiss me but he's so adorable that he asks without really asking. This is of course {too} cute. But it also makes me sweat. I don't want our first kiss to be at Spur! But it happens and it's nice. And I think to myself, this guy is kind of adorable.

Spur ends up closing at 11, so we head across the street to the Bath Tub Gin Co. We arrive at the Bath Tub Gin and cozy up into a corner. I'm sucking face with this guy. In a bar. At 11pm. On a school night. {What, you weren't expecting me to write that?} Who is this girl, I keep thinking? I don't do this on second dates, much less in public! Well, whoever she is, I decide I like her.  And I decide I like like this guy whose bringing this girl out in me.

{The Bus Rider} keeps trying to end the date back at my place. He's a little broken-hearted because I told him that I don't particularly enjoy dancing. He tells me we should close the tab, head back to my place, turn on some music and dance. I can't help but think the dance he's thinking of is the horizontal mambo. Sorry {Bus Rider}, that just ain't gonna happen on the second date ;-). Luckily I planned ahead. I knew that if I got tipsy, my inhibitions would be lowered and I might be prone to making decisions that I wouldn't normally make in this kind of a situation. I purposefully left my home a bit of a mess, so we couldn't 'end up at my place' at the end of the evening doing a second date version of the horizontal mambo. Internet high-five!

He may not want to high-five over this,
but I'm a lady, and I do!

We end up shutting down the Bath Tub Gin Co., and he walks me home to my place. He hails a cab and we do a little more kissing against it for a healthy handful of minutes. I'm cracking up on the inside. I realize it took us nearly 30 minutes to walk two and a half blocks. Wow. What were we doing on that short walk home? I tell him my chin is red/raw and he apologizes. He tells me he thinks I'm cute, and I quickly forget about my red/raw chin.

I'm not ready to close my OkCupid account, but as I'm getting ready for bed I think to myself, yeah, I kinda like this guy.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {The Dutch Guy}

As ya'll know I signed up for okcupid.com since eHarmony failed me with {The Dreaded Friend} Match and I decided paying to meet me some men {husband candidates} wasn't jiving with my {Elle} style.

So I met {The Bus Rider} and we had a lovely little adventure together that commenced with me listening to him recount our date to his buddy on King County Metro Bus #26. Good times were had by all.

In true Elle style, I never put all my eggs in one basket and I had another date lined up that weekend with an okcupid match.

{The Dutch Guy} and I had been talking for several weeks by now but we hadn't had a chance to meet up due to scheduling conflicts. One thing that I thought was especially nice about him was that he wanted to talk on the phone before we met. He insisted. I was terrified, as I barely talk on the phone with my family and think that all phone conversations are horribly awkward. Especially with people you've never met. But we had a great rapport via email and texting and I wasn't going to let one little phone conversation get in the way of meeting this man.

He called me on a Thursday and the phone conversation went fine. Better then fine actually. We talked for about an hour but it only felt like five minutes. This is good right?

He suggested we meet in person. At the zoo.

Every person I consulted with thought this was particularly odd except for me and my good friend {The Meow}. I can always count on {The Meow} to be supportive.

{The Dutch Guy} offered to pick me up which I thought was very sweet, but I thought it would be better to bus it...that way I didn't feel trapped.

My bus arrived at the zoo and there he was waiting for me at the bus stop. How. Sweet. Is. That? He had gotten there early and already bought me a ticket, so there was no awkwardness when it came to paying/entering. But seeing him wait for me at the bus stop made my heart go pitter-patter. This guy is a gentleman, right?

Nine points for {The Dutch Guy}.

The zoo turned out to be one of the very best date spots so far. Conversation came very easy. There were no awkward silences. And if there was ever a lull in conversation, we talked about the animals. I told him a few "must sees" for me and he made sure we spent a lot of time at my favorite exhibits.
We spent several hours at the zoo and went back to my favorite exhibit twice {The Penguins in case you were wondering}. He was the appropriate amount of funny/interesting. And opened every door for me. This guy has class. I. Was. Hooked.

The very sweetest part of our date included a picnic at the end. {The Dutch Guy} had recently been back to Holland to visit his parents and had brought back an entire suitcase full of Dutch treats. He brought a sampling of his favorites on our date and he told me about each of them while we tasted. It was very neat to see his eyes light up as he talked about his home, his favorite food and his family. He asked several questions about me, my family and my life. It was such a relief to be on a date with a guy who took the lead.

We reluctantly realized our date was coming to an end. He drove me home and I got to learn more about another interest of his - racing cars. As he drove me home, he told me he could drop me off a few blocks from my place if I didn't want to tell him where I lived. We had a good chuckle over that.
When we arrived at my place, he told me to hold on for a second - he hopped out of the car and ran around to open my door.

He asked if he could see me again which made my heart pitter-patter again. I realized that this is what a first date is supposed to feel like. I felt a real connection with him and silently celebrated inside my head.

We parted ways with promises to see each other soon. And he sent me a few adorable text  messages later that night.Success! I felt really good about my first two dates from okcupid and couldn't wait to see what would happen next!

I was thrilled that the zoo date had turned out so magical and perfect. I realized it was easier to relax and enjoy myself with distractions. Rather then guzzling cocktails/brewskis and awkwardly looking {I am probably glaring} at each other from across a table. I found it interesting that both guys from okcupid had suggested a similar date - but then I realized that they had been at this longer than me and are probably experts at wooing innocent ladies such as myself.

Happy Virtual Dating!

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {The Bus Rider} Round II

I left off last time telling you about my date with {The Bus Rider}. Now you get to learn how he got his name.

After parting ways at his corner {like a first class whore - but not really}, I immediately dial my good friend {The Meow} to go over the entire date. I recount everything and she can't help but laugh at me. She tells me he seems very sweet and that I should get together with him again. She talks me off the ledge regarding the touching and tells me her husband was very similar. I decide to text him and thank him for a lovely time. Even though I sent horribly mixed signals, he responds by asking to meet up for happy hour later in the week. I'm definitely excited about that. Glad to meet someone who can look past my awkwardness.

{The Meow} and I get off the phone. I do a little shopping. And then my friend {The Doctor} calls. She worked the night shift the night before and is a little late in waking up. She asks me to catch the bus to her place {She lives in Wallingford} and says she'll shower up and then we can head to U Village.

I hop on the bus and sit towards the front. I'm on the phone with {The Doctor} - she is explaining to me where to get off. As I hang up the phone we are pulling up to a stop - and I hear a familiar voice. I see a familiar jacket. And hat.

Holy Shit.

My date - who I ran away from just over an hour ago - is getting on the bus.

Missed connection on King County Metro

Hello worst nightmare. What the fuck do I do? He {literally} steps over my Ugg and walks right past me and greets his friend.

Oh wait. No. {This} is my worst nightmare. He is {literally} sitting two feet away from me. Oh. My. Fucking. God. I'm pulling my hair in front of my face. I'm laughing hysterically on the inside. So hard that I am crying. I'm thinking - you can't make this shit up. This would {only} happen to me.
Wait. It gets better.

He starts telling his friend about our date. I'm {literally} listening to him recount his version of our first date. And, he's different. More confident. More at ease. I kinda like this side of him. And he's being very kind. If the tables were turned - who knows what I would be saying. I think you all can imagine what {Judgmental Elle} would have to say.

I decide I need to get the fuck of this bus. But I don't want to pull the ringer - for fear that I will draw attention to myself. I wait for someone else to pull the ringer. And practically {run} off the bus. Where I hysterically laugh for ten minutes. Oh, and sweat of course. Seriously. This shit would only happen to me.

Where am I? No seriously. I just got off the bus. And I don't know where I am.

xoxo, Elle

Elle and {The Bus Rider}

Yes. It's true. I've been MIA. Again. But you would be too if this had happened to you.

I signed up for OkCupid because eHarmony has been lacking in quality matches. I lined up two dates pretty quickly. One with {The Dutch Boy} and one with {The Bus Rider}. Juggling all these boys is exhausting. Seriously.

Anyway, {The Bus Rider} lives in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle. We communicated a bit through OkCupid and I gave him my number. He asked if I want to meet up for dinner, drinks, a walk whatever. A. He royally {sucks} at texting. He takes hours, if not a few days to respond. B. He likes to dance {or so he says from his profile}. These are two things that annoy me. But I push on.
In the meantime, I'm talking with {The Dutch Boy} and eagerly awaiting our date to the {ZOO}.

Perfect.

So I meet {The Bus Rider} on a Saturday - after running 8 miles. Whose idea was it to walk around Capitol Hill after that? Oh yeah, it was his. I ride the bus up to Cap Hill and get off at the wrong spot. Dates off to a good start, right? He meets me on the street. First impression? His jacket isn't buttoned, and it appears to be flowing in the wind. I detect what I think is a limp, and I'm curious to find out if he has a fake leg. Not sure why, I go straight to that conclusion, but remember? I'm judgmental.

After our date, this is how I remember him looking.

We walk around. And my legs are killing me. Like killing me. I keep peeking around each corner looking for a wheelchair.

We go to Starbucks, where he opens the door. For himself. Not me. But he does treat. So I can't complain right? He makes fun of me for ordering iced coffee. And I later regret my choice, when I realize it's three degrees outside. And raining.

We continue on our walk and he brings me up to the water tower at Volunteer Park. It's actually kind of romantic. Did I mention I had to walk up like 100 stairs? And my legs/knees were {killing} me?
Next stop? The Greenhouse. I tell him about nearly killing the plant my Mom gave him. He's not impressed. He buys me a cactus and buys himself one too. I think it's kinda sweet. We continue on our walk and it starts pouring rain.

{And}

He invites me back to his place to get out of the rain and for some {tea}. {What is it with guys and tea with me?!}

Holy shit. How do I say no to this, without letting him know that I am totally creeped out. This is how people get killed, right? I'm gripping my phone. Not sure what to say. And then I hear myself say {sure}. What the fuck?! Who said that? The only thing that made me feel better was knowing that my friend, {The Doctor}, was expecting to see me around dinner time.

We go back to his place and he legitimately seems to be making tea. {I'm keeping my eye on him though.} His place is cute/clean. Turns out his mom helped him decorate {phew}. He turns on the fire place and I'm holding my hands in front of it. He touches my hands. I freak out.
I find a way to pull them away. He does it again. Fuck.

The tea kettle starts whistling, so he gets distracted. I decide to put some distance between the two of us and look out his balcony. The next thing I know he shows up behind me. And then he puts his arm around me. Fuck! I tense up and pull a Macgyver like move to get away from him. I plant my booty firmly at his dining room table and distract myself with some catalogs.

He asks if I'd like to move to the couch. I promise it's not as creepy as I'm making it sound. But I was still freaked out. He sits on one couch and I sit on the other. I wave to him. What the fuck am I doing? Why am I so awkward?

Eventually he decides to use the restroom. So I do too. I tell him I'm meeting a friend in Belltown for dinner and need to get going. He offers to walk me to the bus and I decline {Hi, remember? I'm awkward. What if he tries to touch me again?} He ends up walking me to the corner, where I run away from him.

This isn't where our story ends.

xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {The Dreaded Friend} Match

Yep. Yep. Yeppers.
This day was bound to come. The day when I discovered Seattle isn't such a big city after all.
Here I am in eHarmony heaven. Minding my own beeswax. Meeting some hotties. Meeting some...creepers. But hey, this is what dating is all about! So far it's been easy to keep my 'real' world separate from my "Elle" world.
My friends, the real world and Elle's world officially collided on March 13, 2011. Luckily, I was drunk.

Booze is necessary when two worlds collide.

For those of you familiar with eHarmony online, you know that when you are on your match page, you see the persons name and age but no picture. Like so:

eHarmony FAIL. Show us a thumbnail photo please!

This poses a problem. Why? Because you can't do a quick scan of the photo before opening them. Why is this important? Because when you open their profile, they can see that you viewed them. Are you catching what I'm throwing? Good.
Luckily, eHarmony joined the 21st century and has an iPhone app! Hello! Dating on the go! On the iPhone app you CAN see a small thumbnail photo of the people you are matched with. Luckily, I'm a tech savvy gal and use the iPhone app.
Anyways. As we previously discussed, every morning I wake up to an email with my matches signed, sealed, delivered just for me. I log in, judge and date. WELL. Luckily, on the day of The {Dreaded Friend} match I ran in the St. Patty's Day match. Which means I had to wake up early. Which means I didn't do my dating first thing in the AM.
Which means that after the race and the boozing, when I finally got around to checking my matches for the day on my phone, I was in a much better place to accept being matched with this {'Friend'}. Let me be clear when I say {'Friend'}, I mean {The X-BF}'s good friend. {FUCK}.
Yep. You read that right. I could just picture the two of them giggling like school girls over my profile. Oh wait. That's what I would do. Not what guys would do. Right? Right?!
After I sobered up, I had a minor freak out. I mean, this was my worst fucking nightmare. Not only the fact that he is {The X-BF's} good friend, BUT. BIG BUT. This guys is HOPELESS. He is the Northwest Profile #56. I. Am. Not. Kidding.

Some girls dig this. I don't.

Elle is not the type to date {Sandals and Socks Guy}. So not only am I mortified that I've been matched with {The X-BF}'s good friend, BUT out off all of his friends they match me with him. What the fuck?! eHarmony {FAIL}.
Anyway. I decided to take the power away from {Sandals and Socks Guy}. I look at his profile for one flat second. And close him.
Three days later, I cancel my eHarmony account. Don't worry, it's good until April 18. And then I'll be on okCupid full time!
How could eHarmony fix this? It's simple in my opinion. Let us users select names of people that we never want to be matched with. I mean come on!
xoxo,
Elle

Elle and {The Creeper}

It was bound to happen.

So far my online dating experience has been pleasant. I'd say I've been pretty lucky. Plenty of {geeks}, which I like and no {creeps}.

Weeeeeelllll. We all knew that wasn't going to last forever right?

Once again, I make it through the guided communication with another potential match. We email back and forth once or twice and he asks for my number. He seems normal. He seems nice. I think to myself, why not? I give him my digits and he sends me a text.

Side note: One of my {BIGGEST} pet peeves is shortening words in text messages or in online communication. I don't know why. But it {bothers} me. Big time. If you do this and you are my friend or family member, it's okay. I still love you. But if you are trying to woo me or get me into bed, don't be lazy. If you're too lazy to type out the word "you", I don't want to think about how lazy you are when it comes to other things in your life.

Don't be a cnt. You are better then that.

So he says, "hi, how r u?" And I think to myself, 'Elle, stop the judging. Answer back. Maybe he doesn't have a smart phone.'

Then I think to myself, 'But Elle, do you really want to date some loser who hasn't yet joined the 21st century and bought a smart phone?'

Anyway, I decide to look past his text speak and say something witty I'm sure. He says something else. I respond.

Then he asks me what size my bed is. Wait. What? How did we get from 'how r u', to what size is your bed? Did I miss something here? No, dear readers. I did not. Next question? 'Can I tuck you in?'

Is he trying to start up some kinky phone sex with me? Does he think this is hot? Time to stop texting with {The Creeper}.

But wait. Will he get the hint? Nope. Every day since then, he has texted me "hi, how was ur day?" So. I did what any online dater would do, and I closed him online. His response? 'hi elle, it's {The Creeper}, how r u?"

Ugh. Today is the first day I haven't heard from him. Trust me, I firmly believe that you should tell someone when you are not interested in them. But - he made me feel dirty. I even deleted the thread of messages. And before you call me a {prude} AND {rude} (which I am), it's not that he went to far. I just didn't like the direction he was going...after two text messages.

Elle's Self Potrait

Best of luck to {The Creeper}. There's gotta be a lady out there for him somewhere. I mean there's someone out there for everyone right?

xoxo,
Elle